oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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