the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
