Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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