god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You need a sexual gate keeper
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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