youre lurking in front of me
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize