is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
