Don't make out with my wife yet
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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