Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
