i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wish i was in the wii world.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
