Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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