there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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