The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
