you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
