4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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