U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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