Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
