Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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