cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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