Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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