My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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