She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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