I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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