Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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