Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize