Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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