i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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