Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
