CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
