You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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