i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
