and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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