so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
