I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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