I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
