the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize