She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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