So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
