She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
