I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Randomize
