Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
