I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
