I'm gonna have a badass scar
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i drank out of a bidet.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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