So drunk, too bad you don't want this
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
