we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
