So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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