Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
