The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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