; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
