And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
