people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize