My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
