You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
