Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
