i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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