dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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