I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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