Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
