he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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