I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize