there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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