What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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