At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
