Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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