O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
