I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
