can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
