You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
