i think my tv is drunk
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
