Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
