I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
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Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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